[Music]: Alexandra Savior – Vanishing Point | Mahogany Session

If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.” Michael Bassey Johnson, The Infinity Sign



In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger — something better, pushing right back.” Albert Camus


In a fixed mindset students believe their basic abilities, their intelligence, their talents, are just fixed traits. They have a certain amount and that’s that, and then their goal becomes to look smart all the time and never look dumb. In a growth mindset students understand that their talents and abilities can be developed through effort, good teaching and persistence. They don’t necessarily think everyone’s the same or anyone can be Einstein, but they believe everyone can get smarter if they work at it.” Carol Dwek

The Floor Scrapers, by Gustave Caillebotte

That is why it is so important to let certain things go. To release them. To cut loose. People need to understand that no one is playing with marked cards; sometimes we win and sometimes we lose. Don’t expect to get anything back, don’t expect recognition for your efforts, don’t expect your genius to be discovered or your love to be understood. Complete the circle. Not out of pride, inability or arrogance, but simply because whatever it is no longer fits in your life. Close the door, change the record, clean the house, get rid of the dust. Stop being who you were and become who you are.”
Paulo Coelho

July 1st, 2018: “There is no solace in others.”


I haven’t been alone ever since I made my relationship with my sister gets better, why? cause we clicked so well in the past few months due to the fact that she’s a grown “lady” by now and me learning to open up. The whole process made my journey of making where I am a place where I can enjoy a lot easier, but that doesn’t mean that relying on anyone for strength is an option for me; spoiler alert: it’ll never be one cause I still feed myself strength.

Realising the difference between being completely dependent on someone or having to ask for help just to give yourself a breather from a responsibility is a crucial point for me, it taught me how having a time for myself to think clearly or even having some time off of reality for good.

“be your own person”, learn how to heal and take a time off, but don’t you ever try to give some a chance and hand them the power of healing you and manipulate into realising your life will never be tolerated without them.

I can go on for ages into saying BE what you want people to be for you, but I’d love to keep the idea short and simple so it can fit in into many different scenarios.

The ability to observe without evaluating is the highest form of intelligence.” Jiddu Krishnamurti


people in general who believe privacy isn’t necessary and that you shouldn’t even need it unless you have something to hide: go extinct already.”


June 13th, 2018: What you seek is seeking you.


I’ve been doing a lot of contemplating in the past few months, things that bug me aren’t as many as they used to, plus I’ve had a Lasik operation done last May, so guess who is enjoying details without the need to dry out her eyes while wearing lens.

And by the end of this month, my application that’ll help me to make it to where I am supposed to be is going to be submitted, and to Ireland hopefully, I will go. Truth be told I’m a little bit scared but I’m full of positiveness toward the whole process this time. Why, may you ask? because they have placed a huge importance on the major I am aiming for, gathered up my grades and they meet the requirement as well. Unlike the last time, this time “I” am well prepared.

Deep down, I made so many rash decisions when I tried out to get a scholarship the first time around, more like shooting aimlessly, I wasn’t sure what was going on around me, and I wasn’t psychologically equipped. A small amount of pressure can make me restless for days, overthinking my what I thought then as my “last shot at being happy”. I have let go of the reasons why I wanted to go there, one of them is hanging my happiness at being away from the current atmosphere of toxic people when all I did is decreased the amount of time spent with them.

Spirituality wise, a few weeks back I decided to let go of an illusion of what happiness is really consisted of, I realised that choosing to resign to make time for myself to focus on my mental health was the best decision I have ever made in years. I learned tricks on how to empty out my brain of any thought and enjoy stillness, knowing that the thought noise was nothing but a paranoia trigger.

The whole experience made me start ruminating on death as a broad subject, acknowledging that death is inevitable, and it can be a motivation to enjoy the moment or destroy your will to accomplish things in life, the choice is yours to make in the end. Thus, for me it was a motivation, to enjoy the moment with the people I’m close to, and to hope for a better tomorrow.

Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.” Ralph Waldo Emerson